


the shitty dad convention

by mintsinthemug



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Breakfast Food at Night, Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, Medication, Multi, Past Child Abuse, its rly gay, they all have shitty dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 04:53:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11662023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintsinthemug/pseuds/mintsinthemug
Summary: eggs, meds, & connor's crushing hard on these boys.//"Oh, hey, Hot Topic. Welcome to the Shitty Dad Convention,” said Jared fucking Kleinman. He was sprawled out on Evan’s bed, Evan curled in his desk chair with his knees tucked to his chest.





	the shitty dad convention

_“-he doesn’t get to- to just fucking call whenever he wants and pretend everything’s okay, you know? He doesn’t get to do, to do that.”_

Connor paused outside Evan’s bedroom door, hand resting lightly on the knob. Evan sounded upset, which Connor was used to, and angry, which Connor was definitely not used to. Evan wasn’t an angry guy, from what Connor knew. He got frustrated- with himself mostly- but he didn’t yell, he didn’t curse very much. Connor didn’t know who Evan was talking to either, much less what about. Heidi had let him in with a smile on her way out to her shift and Evan hadn’t mentioned anyone else when he invited Connor over.

With a shrug, Connor pushed open the door.

“He’s such a dick. Don’t feel like you have to call him back or- oh, hey, Hot Topic. Welcome to the Shitty Dad Convention,” said Jared fucking Kleinman. He was sprawled out on Evan’s bed, Evan curled in his desk chair with his knees tucked to his chest.

Connor scowled at the nickname, shooting Evan a questioning look as he toed off his shoes and flopped down on the floor near the foot of the bed.

“Sorry! I, uh, forgot to tell you Jared was here. His mom got ca- called into work really suddenly,” Evan explained, picking at a hole in his sock. He looked genuinely apologetic, because most everything Evan said was genuine, so Connor just shrugged. He turned his gaze onto Jared, who had propped up on his elbows.

“I thought you’d kill to have the house to yourself. You literally never shut up about how your mom doesn’t let you sleep enough.”

And Jared does look tired, really tired. Even from where Connor’s sitting, he can see the dark bruises under Jared’s eyes. A small seed of worry grows in his stomach but he shoves it away; Jared wasn’t into people worrying over him. He just took it as pity, which Connor understood but _fuck_ was it frustrating when the guy was obviously struggling.

Jared shrugs, scratching at his stomach, “I’m not allowed to be home alone right now. It’s stupid. Evan’s letting me crash here until my mom gets off work.”

“It’s not stupid, it’s safer” Evan mumbles earnestly. For a moment Jared looks a little taken aback, though he’s quick to hide it. He rolls over onto his stomach, squirming for a moment before he reaches a hand out and blindly sets his glasses on Evan’s nightstand.

“Whatever. I’m gonna take a nap. You two do whatever you were gonna do if I wasn’t here.” Jared decided, voice muffled from where he’d pressed his face into his arm. He lifts his head a little to clearly add, “Except fuck. Don’t fuck while I’m here, I’ll feel left out.”

Evan rolled his eyes, ears turning red. “You’re an as- a jerk, Jared,” He complains, dropping his feet to the floor so he can stand up. “You uh, wanna go play video games? Or maybe watch a movie?” He asks Connor, and Connor appreciates how hard he’s trying to keep eye contact.

“Sure,” Connor held out a hand to help himself up. He waited patiently for Evan to scrub the sweat off his palm before taking Connor’s hand. Evan stumbled when Connor pulled himself up and Connor bit back a smile. On their way past the bed, Evan poked Jared in the side, causing him to jerk away.

“Come hang out with us when you wake up, okay?” He fidgeted with the hem of Jared’s overshirt as Jared shuffled back into a comfortable position.

“Okay, _mom_. Now go away, I need my beauty sleep.”

Evan huffed, puffing out his cheeks. He looked fondly frustrated and Connor knew it was a familiar feeling when dealing with Jared Kleinman.

They settled down in the living room; Evan piling pillows and blankets into a nest on the floor for them to sit in. As evan shuffled through the games he had, Connor picked at his nail polish.

“Is Jared okay? He seems,” Connor shrugged, bringing the edge of his thumb between his teeth, “weirder than usual. He only insulted me like, once.”

Evan visibly stiffened, which made Connor tense because he still wasn’t _good_ at handling Evan’s panic attacks. He’d have to get Jared and it’d upset Evan that Jared had to wake up and- it’d be a mess, basically.

“Um, I don’t know if it’s my place to say what’s going on? He- he’s a little, uh, back a forth right now,” Evan crawled back over to their blanket pile, spreading out the stack of games he has as he resolutely did not look at Connor. “His doctor is messing with some of his dosages so he’s feeling a little- kind of, uh-”

Connor nodded, cutting Evan off as he continued to work himself up over what he was and wasn’t allowed to say. “I get it,” Connor said, because he did. Figuring out dosages for his bipolar medication had been a painful process and ‘some of’ made Connor think Jared had more than a few medications to balance out.

Evan’s smile was relieved and thankful. “So, uh, what do you wanna- want to play first?” He asked, gesturing to the options in front of them.

They ended up playing Smash Bros, which Evan was terrible at, then Mario Kart, which Evan was infuriatingly great at. After another round of landing in a mocking third place, Connor gave up. The anger was getting a little too real so he wrapped himself tightly in the warm pile of blankets and watched Evan play Pikmin 3.

And that’s how Jared found them a few hours later when he stumbled out of Evan’s bedroom. His hair was sticking up awkwardly and there was a pillow crease pressed into his cheek. It was kind of cute to see him this disheveled. He fixed his glasses, blinking sleepily at Connor.

“Well don’t you look fuckin’ cozy,” he muttered, grinning slightly.

Connor jerked his head to move his hair out of his face and raised an eyebrow, “So does your bed head. Good nap?”

Jared only grunted, pulling out his phone. “Shit,” he said through a yawn, running a hand through his hair to try and flatten it out, “Evan, I need to take my meds.”

Evan hadn’t stopped playing when Jared had walked in, but he paused his game now. He scrambled to stand up, “What time is it? Sorry, I meant to keep track.”

Jared waved him off, tucking his phone back in his pocket. “It’s only eight, don’t sweat it, loser.”

“You need to take food- take them with food, right? I’ll make something. Or, will it be too late then? I don’t want you to be taking them too late but you shouldn’t take them without food-”

“I already ate!” Jared whined, following Evan as he rambled his way into the kitchen. Connor sighed and stood as well, keeping a blanket around his shoulders like a caped as he leaned against the breakfast bar.

“Half a bag of Doritos isn’t a meal, Jared,” Evan pointed out, opening the fridge. “Are eggs okay?”

Jared stretched out, raising his arms above his head and Connor’s eyes caught the soft stripe of Jared’s stomach as his shirt hiked up for a moment. Then Jared returned to slouching against the counter and Connor flicked his eyes to the tile floor.

“It’s the meal of _champions_ , the world just hasn’t accepted it yet,” Jared pulled himself up to sit on the counter and, after a moment, added a soft, “Eggs are fine.”

“Connor, do you want some?” Evan was up on his toes to get the eggs out of the fridge, even though he didn’t really need to be. Connor thought that was cute too, like Jared’s bedhead, or the way Evan stuck out his tongue while he was playing Mario Kart.

“Connor?” Evan repeated, peering at him from over the fridge door.

Connor blinked, looking around for a second as he gathered his composure,“Yeah. Sure, uh. Thanks.”

The kitchen was quiet, save for the crackling of eggs on the pan as Evan cooked. Connor thought it was a nice moment; the room was quiet and warm. He leaned his hip against the counter, watching Jared out of the corner of his eye. Jared would shift, sway a bit, chew on the edges of his fingers. They all startled as a trilling sounded from the living room. Evan’s hand slipped on the spatula he was holding.

“Uh-” he looked frantically between the pan and the kitchen doorway, obviously unsure of how to handle the situation. Jared slid off the counter, waving his hand.

“Cool it, I’ll get it,” he said, padding out to the living room to retrieve Evan’s phone. Evan relaxed slightly, turning back to his cooking and calling out a timid, “T-thanks, Jared!” over his shoulder.

Jared returns, sneering at the ringing phone in hand. “It’s that dick canoe your mom divorced. Want me to tell him to fuck off?”

Evan tenses, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and pointedly not looking up from the stove. “No, no! Uh, just let it ri- ring through, I guess?”

Jared shot Connor a look that Connor didn’t really know the meaning of. The he shrugged, clicking the power button so that the ringing was silenced until it went to voicemail, and setting the phone on the counter.

“I thought you said you don’t talk to your dad,” Connor states after a moment, because it’s too damn quiet and he’s too- he doesn’t like not knowing things. He doesn’t want to be the one left in the dark.

“I don’t. Or, um, not willingly? He started calling a few years ago and, uhm, I kinda came out to him? As bisexual, I mean. I mean, it was an accident- not that I’m ashamed of being bi, I just didn’t mean to tell him when I did- and he kinda started yelling? So I panicked and hung up. And then he didn’t call for a while, which I definitely didn’t mind because I was scared if he did he’d just start yelling at me and then, yesterday he called and tried to act like he hadn’t almost called me a f- uhm. Insulted me for liking boys last time,” Evan flipped the eggs, clenching his hands tightly in the spatula and pan handle. “And he was talking about how I should come visit him and-”

He was trembling a little bit now, and Connor lurched towards him a little without thinking about it. “It’s okay,” Connor said, reaching out to rest a gentle hand on Evan’s shoulder. “It’s not okay, I mean. It’s really fucking shitty. Larry got super pissed when I came out too. I slept in my care for like, three days and he refuses to talk about it at all now. It’s like if he can ignore it then it never happened and everything’s going his way.” He watches Evan nod along, feeling something warm and overwhelmingly nice crack open in his chest.

Jared sighed, idly clicking Evan’s phone on and off. “Shitty Dad Convention,” He joked. Connor would snap at him, but he doesn’t sound mocking. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards so Connor let it pass without comment.

“Um,” Evan cleared his throat, gesturing vaguely with the spatula, “Eggs are- eggs are done.” His voice sounded a little thick and croaky as he spoke; he hurriedly moved to grab plates and forks.

They sat at the table, because Evan asked them to. Jared’s egg yolk is runny, which he apparently enjoys, and he gathered it up one a piece of toast and scarfed it down in one bite. Connor ate a little slower; he shouldn’t be surprised Evan remembered he liked his eggs with the yolk broken but he is anyways. Jared gagged when Connor piled on the pepper and Evan laughed into his own over-hard egg.

“So how have they changed your dosages? If you feel comfortable talking about it, obviously. I’m not going to like, make you talk about it- um,” Evan trailed off, swirling his fork around in the leftover yolk on his plate. Jared rolled his eyes, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“More Prozac, less Xanax. Keepin’ the Clonidine and acne meds,” he rattled off with a shrug. Connor tried not to look startled or like, anything approaching judgement because he’s the last one to fucking judge but Jared caught his eye anyways. “I know right? I’m a fucking pharmacy.”

Evan pushed up from the table, exclaiming, “You’re not!” at the same time Connor said “You aren’t.”

Jared ducks his head away from them both, huffing and pushing his glasses up with a knuckle. “Can I just have my meds, asshole?”

With an exasperated sigh, Evan retrieved a grocery bag from the counter and set it on the table. He untied it, pulling out a few pill bottles and a scrap of paper with, if Connor had to guess, dosages written on it. The kitchen was quiet again, music from the paused Pikmin game drifting in from the living room as Evan counted out the pills and dropped them into Jared’s hand a few at a time.

“I hate this music,” Jared complained after chasing the last pill with a gulp of water. Evan just rolled his eyes, piling everything back in the bag and pushing it aside.

“Jared, I was liter- literally there when you illegally downloaded a ten hour version of Pikmin music because it helps you fall asleep.”

The snort slipped out before Connor could stop it and Evan flushed. Jared gaped for a moment before bursting into obnoxiously loud cackling.

“Holy shit, Ev, be a fucking savage, I guess,” He crowed, pretending to wipe tears from his eyes. He kicked his chair back on two of its legs, “I can’t believe you’re spilling all my secrets to Murphy. He’s right fucking there. I have an image to uphold.”

Evan tucked his chin as he laughed, twisting his shirt hem between his fingers. It was endearing, both of them like this. They were flushed and laughing and bright. Connor propped his chin on his fist and grinned lazily. “Your image of being a loser?”

This set off another wave of awful cackling; Jared tossing his head back and blindly flipping Connor off. “Oh, fuck you guys. Seriously.”

The mood was lighter after that. Jared joined in on video games, declaring he was going to kick everyone’s ass at Smash Bros and then accidentally pitching himself off the platform. Twice. In a desperate scramble for redemption, he challenged Evan to Mario Kart and the lost again, only because _‘Evan picked Rainbow-Shitting-Road’._

“Motherfucker, mother _fucker_ , _motherfucker_ -”

Connor snorted again, passing the curve Jared had flown off the edge of with a smug grin. Evan snickered, mouth pressed into his pulled up knee, as he held a steady first place. “Sor- sorry, what were you saying about kicking, uhm, kicking my ass?”

Jared glared at the screen, furiously jerking the remote into each turn. “I’ll show you kicking ass, you- motherfucker, shit Evan!” He threw his hands up, falling back against the couch as Evan overlapped him and knocked him off the course again. The room filled with laughter as Jared wailed his defeat while Connor also overlapped him.

“It’s what you get for picking fuckin’ Waluigi,” Connor muttered, stretching his foot out on the couch to prod Jared’s shoulder. Jared shoved him back with a scoff, bumping his glasses back up his nose.

“Waluigi is the superior Mario Kart avatar, _Connor_ ,” he sneered, tossing his controller on the floor like a petulant child as Evan crossed the finish line. “You’re both awful. The worst people I’ve ever met in my life. Number ones on my list of least favorites. Christ.”

Evan scooted across the floor to press himself up against Jared’s side. “Aw, you don’t mean that- mean that, Jared,” he cooed, pushing his weight into Jared’s side. It was moments like this, as Jared cackled and ruffled Evan’s hair, that Connor remembered Jared and Evan had grown up together. You couldn’t tell, really, with the way Jared had violently kept Evan at arms length for so long in public. Connor can’t remember if he ever saw both of them laughing this much before he met them.

“Yeah,” Jared said, catching his breath and seeming to resign to Evan using his as a pillow, “You’re right, number one will always be my old man. My quest for revenge prevails even over assholes who patronize me about my video game skills.”

Evan chuckles, shifting until he was comfortable. “Makes se- sense. I should’ve known I’d always be your, uh, second priority.” He yelped as Jared cuffed the back of his head, grinning like a maniac.

Connor gnawed at the inside of his cheek. He shouldn’t ask this, don’t ask this, don’t _fucking_ -

“Hey, Kleinman, how is your dad shitty?” Well, fuck. Failed step one, Murphy. He knew it wasn’t an appropriate question. Every doubt he had about asking it was confirmed as Jared visibly tensed before sharing a very specific kind of look with Evan just like before. Which means Evan knew why. Of fucking course he did.

“He, uh,” Jared paused and Connor could see him lick his lips, “He’s not the gentlest guy. Or wasn’t, at least. When he lived with my mom. Now he’s got some shiny new family with a bunch of blonde, creepy, Christian kids out in California and some super model or something.” Jared pulled off his glasses, wiping them on his shirt.

“You used to come over a lot when your dad lived with you,” Evan mumbled, tilting his head against Jared’s shoulder. Jared nodded, slipping his glasses back on and clearing his throat.

“Yeah, I did. Unlike Evan’s shitbag father, we had to force mine out of our house with a lawsuit. He’s still not allowed to contact me without legal, like permission, or some crap. Court of law, blah blah blah,” He scrunched up his nose in a way Connor found a little heartwarming despite the circumstances. It startled him a little, the amount Connor liked these boys in front of him. Something in his chest lurched as he watched the second-natured way Evan and Jared leaned into each other. The way Evan rubbed his thumb into Jared’s knee, the way Jared shifted into the touch.

“Shit dude,” Connor muttered, scrubbing the cuff of his sweatshirt over his face, “we really are the Shitty Dad Convention.” He laughed hollowly because it was ridiculous- it was a little pathetic, really. He wouldn’t say that, especially wouldn’t call anyone pathetic for having a shitty family life, but he felt pathetic for being so upset about it. For bringing it up and making everyone else relive their obviously shittier family lives. His was at home, his raised him moderately. His wasn’t physically or even verbally violent-

“You, uh, Connor? Are you okay?” Evan asked, sitting up so he could reach up and touch Connor’s shin. Connor rubbed at his face again, feeling his eyes burning. Fuck no, nope, no, he wasn’t crying that was pathetic. He forced himself to unclench his jaw, leaving his teeth buzzing and sore.

He didn’t trust his own voice, just dropping a hand down toward Evan and waiting for him to hesitantly take it. He grunted, tugging Evan up onto the couch with him. Jared pointedly looked down at his lap as Evan toppled over Connor’s legs.

“Oh, jeez, sorry- uh,” Evan wobbled and clambered until he was tucked between Connor and the back of the couch. Connor huffed a little laugh, knocking the back of Jared’s head with his foot.

“C’mon, Kleinman.” He murmured, voice cracking a little. Shit, he might cry on Evan Hansen’s couch. Jared blinked owlishly before composing himself and smirking.

“Well if you insist, Murphy.”

And then he had Jared Kleinman awkwardly trying not to be in Connor’s lap while he was, in fact, in Connor’s lap. Connor snorted, which felt weird with his throat so tight, and pulled Jared so that he was lying mostly on Connor and slightly on the edge of the cushions. Jared huffed and wriggled until his head was tucked under Connor’s chin.

“I’m sorry I made you guys think about your fucked up dad memories,” he mumbles awkwardly, pressing his nose into Jared’s hair. Evan’s hand was pushed between Connor’s stomach and Jared’s ribs, his other arm tucked under Connor’s neck.

“We made you talk about yours too,” Evan whispered, looking up at Connor with big, earnest eyes. Connor kept his gaze firmly on the ceiling, because sometimes Evan’s eyes made his heart swell up like it might burst.

Jared sighed, settling more against Connor. The weight was a grounding thing, soothing the violent knot of feelings in his chest, and he wrapped his arm tightly around Jared’s waist.

“It’s alright. Evan’s always babbling about how I should open up or some bullshit,” Jared said, sounding a little raw in his own way. Connor nodded against his hair as Evan laughed and jerked his fingers up into Jared’s ribs, which made Jared shriek and try to squirm away. Connor just holds him tighter, keeping him in place as Evan halfheartedly jabs at him.

They settle down again and the tension has passed. Connor’s chest still feels tight, like he might cry at any minute. He knows he’ll have to go home soon, to his dad and his sister and his mother who will all side eye him until he snaps.

But right now Jared is beginning to nod off on his chest, and Evan is twirling Connor’s hair between his fingers. Everything is okay, for now. It won’t be later, but right now the Mario Kart music isn’t loud enough for Connor to find annoying and he’s finally got a chance to catch up on his sleep.

 

That’s enough for him.


End file.
